Contest Results

SPAM ^{^{^{(the food
product)}}}Contest!

What thing/object in the world is most NOT like Spam?
For instance one answer could be:
an APPLE, because it is eaten in its naturally occurring form (has not been processed or shaped into a loaf) and is a fruit rather than meat.
All entries must include a description of why your item is not like spam and be received by April 1, 1999.
Prizes may or may not include pork.
Email NephCO your entries! You will be contacted via email if you sent a winning entry.

YOSHIMOTO Contest!

To Enter The Yoshimoto Contest:

Listen to the Yoshimoto phrase:
click on Yoshimoto and either play it with your browser or download it to your computer.
Translate Yoshimoto's Phrase Accurately and/or
Create a Fake Translation, MUST be humorous.
Email NephCO your answer(s)!
Prizes will be sent to the Best Translation & the Best Made-Up Translation! Runner-Ups may receive something interesting.
All entries must be received by April 1, 1999. You will be contacted via email if you sent a winning entry.

My quilting scissors is least like Spam because:
Scissors cuts Spam.
Paper cuts Spam.
Rock smashes Spam SPLAT!

-Sara Nephew

From: Great Owl Software Pete Peterson
Subject: 'Red Alert' is most NOT like Spam.
Date: Sun, 27 Dec 1998 18:08:15 -0500

In 'Red Alert' your motivation is the death and destruction of every slimeball that stands in your way (no offense Av), whereas Spam just wants to be loved, even by the slimeballs (again, no offense Av).

From: larry cohen
Subject: spam contest

Answer,

Oral-gen__al s_x with a chicken.

Spam doesn't have that feathery light taste.

From: Avrum Cohen

The thing least like spam is a migraine headache,

Some ways a migraine is different from spam:
• A migraine is not bought, sold or processed.
• Spam comes in a can,
• Some people enjoy spam,
• You can't share a migraine,
• You can cut spam into descrete chunks,
• Migraines often come with their own light show,
• People pay for spam and get what they pay for, people pay to get rid of
• Migraines and rarely get what they pay for,
• Spam is edible,
• You can have 2 or 3 cans of spam at one time,
• When you tell some one you had some spam they understand exactly what spamis,
• They know (hopefully) what exactly goes into spam, they even list the ingredients, no one knows what goes into a migraine,
• If you wait, a migraine will eventualy go away,
• Spam is advertised,
• Spam can be "cooked".

Joseph Levi:

"Miss Piggy is NOT like SPAM because though both fat and pork-based, Miss Piggy would never allow herself to be sliced and served to anyone, let alone admitting that she was in need of any liposuction!"

Keith Fox:

"Kleenex is not like Spam because Kleenex is a trademark used for soft facial tissue, which could never be mistaken for a canned meat product consisting primarily of chopped pork pressed into a loaf. It is hard to imagine that there could be such things as Spam soft facial tissue and Kleenex canned meat product. Yikes!!"

LATE ENTRY:

Date: Sun, 04 Apr 1999 22:18:33 -0500
From: "Mary M. Maronek"
Subject: Spam Contest

The object most not like Spam is earth, because, with the exception of mud and swamps, it is not gushy, and you can't eat it in it's natural state. It's also not pink (with the exception of rock formations and flowers).
(Elizabeth, I get points for trying--right? •YES!• )

Aunt Mary

Yoshimoto Says:

When the fungus ripens on your feet,
the air is fertile with possibility.

-Avrum Cohen

"Ohhhhhh, My ass is on fire!
What did I eat last night?"

Alex Nephew

Yoshimoto Says:

"You vant I should rush?
Sit, stay for a while!"

-Av

Contest answer from Sara Nephew:

Yoshimoto says, " My head is really hurting! Maybe I shouldn't have eaten that last Sushi.?"

LATE ENTRY: